An Update

 When I issued my last post I thought it was my last.  But I miss my blog friends and all the wonderful messages they have been trying to get through to me so feel I owe everyone an update.  I may occasionally post a blog here and there as life continues on - even though much different than before.  

I found out my diagnosis July 10th.  They established early on that they felt they had a good shot at removing my tumor with surgery and I was referred to one of the very best surgeons in Vancouver.  He specializes in lung transplants and pancreatic tumor surgeries.  At the same time my gallbladder which had flagged all of this needed to come out.  Surgery was scheduled for August 14th.  As this is considered critical illness hubby was allowed to visit in the hospital of which I spent 3 nights.  The night before we sat in a hotel room preparing ourselves mentally and received a call from the surgeon - due to the CT scan just a couple of days before it looked like the tumor was too close to a vein to proceed.  Instead of doing major surgery they proceeded with removing my gallbladder and did a biopsy on the tumor to confirm the cancer.

On my 51st birthday I found out that yes indeed it was cancer as we had all believed.  September 1 I had my first chemo treatment.  I get it every two weeks and I go for a full 8 hours and then have a bottle on IV I take hope for 2 more days of treatment.  Not everyone who has chemotherapy has similar treatments.  It is different for every person and every type of cancer.  It turns out that the first chemo bag I get (I get 3 then 1 takehome) I am allergic/hypersensitive to so every day of chemo is now multiple hours of antiallergy meds then chemo then more allergy shots as more issues come up.  This drug is the very best drug for shrinking my tumor so we continue on.  The hope is that by the end of November we can do surgery to remove it and surrounding tissue and possibly my spleen as it shares the same blood vessels as the pancreas.  As it stands right now they think it has not spread and I have a very good chance at living many more years if we can do surgery.  Not as good if we can't.  Only 10-15 percent of people with pancreatic cancer qualify for surgery.  You have to be healthy enough to withstand both the surgery which is major surgery and chemo.  If I do get surgery then I have another 3 months of chemo afterward.

Nothing has gone to plan exactly here(always day to day with cancer) but I do feel I have the very best team of surgeons, oncologists, and nurses taking care of me.  Some appointments are done by phone thanks to Covid (a plus in my books) and some in person.  Every time after chemo I lose about 5-6 days then I perk up and have about 8 good days where hubby and I try to live our lives to the fullest.  Yes, I am tired but I am relatively healthy and now can eat a lot more without my nasty gallbladder which was apparently blocked with a really large stone.  I've just gone through my 3rd treatment and will have 2-3 more before a decision and more ct scans will be made regarding surgery.

My husband has been the most wonderful man in the world.  We already had a really great relationship and this has brought us even closer together if that is even possible.  He truly is the kindest and loving/caring man and takes really good care of me on those days when I need it.  We just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary and we are both hoping for more wonderful years together. 

Buddy has also been my little hairy rockstar - those days when I am in bed after chemo he doesn't leave my side.  Only when he understands I am feeling better he turns into his normal fun playful self.  Thank goodness for these two, they truly let me keep my sanity.

One thing I am ever so grateful for is that we got to see 3 of our 4 kids in June - something that is now not possible due to exposure and my lack of an immune system for likely 6 months.  The second you have your first treatment you become immune-compromised overnight.  One day at a time is all we can plan right now but we communicate with them very regularly and they are all very supportive of me. 

We are still running our company but only with existing customers, not new ones.  Strange to turn down business but new clients would be impossible at this time and our existing customers are flexible and understand what is going on.  Luckily financially we can retire anytime but the company does give hubby something to do other than worry about me and without new clients to onboard my work is much less and can be done when I feel good.  While all of my actual care is taken care of through our free healthcare we are still spending about $500 a month on medications for after chemo (mostly anti-nausea drugs that work very well, thank goodness).  All of our planning and saving has paid off but I really don't know how people with debt/COVID loss of income/no savings do it.  There is some financial relief for these pills called Pharmacare in BC depending on your income.  We don't currently qualify but may next year with reduced salaries this year.  In the meantime we are fine.

Oddly I still have kept my hair after 3 treatments.  It is thinning and has slightly changed colour to reddish-brown.  Apparently, the drugs I am on aren't as harsh on the scalp as some (most breast cancer drugs take your hair right away).  I am trying to be super delicate with it as my scalp is itchy and I have been adding oil treatments and only washing it every couple of days with baby shampoo.  I am fine if I lose it but for now, it is nice that it has stayed after a full month of treatment.

We spend a lot of time with Mom and try to have her for supper at least once a week.  My first round I couldn't drive as an anti-nausea medication was making me dizzy but I cut back on that and could drive the second week after chemo so have been able to spend more time with her getting groceries etc.  I am limiting my exposure to the public by ordering groceries online but can still act as taxi for Mom and hubby picks up whatever we can't get by ordering online including many trips to the pharmacy.

We have taken more selfies lately as we try and get out to the ocean at least once every two weeks.  Here are some of those:

The first two were taken in August at the beach with Buddy - before my operation.

A shot of Buddy on one of our walks last weeks.  The gigantic maple leaves are falling.  Buddy weighs 15 lbs - Vancouver Island holds the record for largest maple leaves in the world.  These are medium sized ones compared to some on the island.

On Monday we went to the beach - the day before round 3 of chemo started.  Yes, we have bags upon bags under our eyes now (it's as hard on hubby as me) but we are still trying to do our best to live our life together.  

We had a lot of smoke from the fires from California, Oregon, and Washington a few weeks ago but then had wind and rain and most left.  Unfortunately, the day after we took these shots it has come back.  

Anyway, thank you all for your sweet thoughts of me and I will try and keep future updates every few weeks.  I still may occasionally comment on your blogs (yes I am still reading them) but sometimes I just don't have the willpower or know what to say.  So at this point - stay safe, wear a mask,  be sure to get out and vote (and remove the orange maniac from the Presidency) and live your life to the fullest each day.  As they say, YOLO - you only live once.