Sunday, May 22, 2016

A Week Catch-up

Neat planter seen in Cordoba, Spain (click for larger picture to see detail)

What a busy week.  I helped out at the company where I used to work three mornings this week after they asked me if I would be willing to assist temporarily a little over May, June, and July after a long-term employee moved away.  I enjoy seeing the people I used to work with and this is an easy way to help add more to our travel fund so agreed.  



The weather here has finally cooled a bit, even raining a time or two which really helped lower our risk of fires and has greened things up a bit.  All of the container potatoes I planted have come up with leaves peeking through the dirt.  My husband who was raised on a large farm always says anyone can raise potatoes and apparently that is true.  They should be ready to eat by August 1 and I can't wait.

On Friday my Stepdaughter flew in for a weekend visit so after picking her up we stopped in at the local farm market which is located right by the airport.  Friday was their opening day for summer as they wait until they can fill their store up with produce from their own farm or other island farms. We bought carrots, strawberries, a cucumber, green onions, tomatoes, and garlic.  Now that I can rely on them I can stop buying non-local produce from the store.  There is nothing like carrots freshly picked out of the ground, the best tasting ever.  My own cilantro and chives are flourishing, the tomatoes planted a couple of weeks ago are growing well and the first tomato flower has opened, a great sign of things to come.  Fingers crossed that we will have another bumper tomato crop this year.

Yesterday was the only day that the thrift stores would be open while my Stepdaughter was in town so we told hubby we were going thrifting and I tried spoiling her a bit.  For $30 she ended up with a beautiful pair of Aldo wedge sandals, four shirts, one pair of shorts and one pair of pants.  I had every intention of buying her more than that but after four thrift stores we were both tuckered out so called it a day.  She is almost vegetarian (if she lived alone she would be full vegetarian) and we found her a great vegetarian cook book too.  She has matured quite a lot over the last year and a half and finally graduates from high school next month.  She is currently living with her boyfriend but since he lives on an acreage and she doesn't drive getting to and from work has been an issue so she has decided to find a roommate situation in town where she can access the transit system and not have to rely on him.  She is hoping to find it in the next 10 days and has an appointment set up to see a place on Wednesday.  FINALLY at 18 and a half she is starting to get it!  She knows that she is likely better off living on her own and if their relationship survives living apart then so be it.  He has no job and hasn't since he graduated last June.  He has no intention to move out since Daddy will let him live there rent free forever and has zero direction.  He drives her to work but only if she buys him gas and groceries.  We tried teaching her to drive but she hates driving and is scared to do so, so really transit is her only option for fully independent living. We had hoped she would come to this conclusion some day and finally, she has.  She even quit smoking!  She is even talking about going to college in a year or so!  I never thought that day would come :)

Since we are no longer paying her room and board after high  school and she is fully responsible for supporting herself she needs to be able to either get a second part-time job or a full-time job and needs to be able to get to it by walking or bus.  Scary but exciting for her at the same time.  I am proud of her.  She chose the absolute hardest path she could take over the last 3 years, first moving out of her mother's house then ours thinking she knew everything and didn't need us.  It is nice to know that we did the right thing by not fighting her on it and she is now finally getting her life together and we have still maintained a decent relationship with her.

Last night we invited Mom over and had a big shrimp dinner and watched a movie and tonight we are having chicken and veggie  chowmein and having a games night, by her request.She does eat fish and the only meat she will eat is chicken so she requested those meals.  I will have her help me cook supper tonight, trying to give her a few more easy cooking skills to add to what she has.  Things she learned this year:

1.  Eating out is way too expensive and when you don't make much learning to cook and eating at home is the only way to go.

2.  In order to keep your job you have to be reliable.  She went from almost getting fired due to calling in sick too many times to being her manager's favorite now taking any shift she can get.  I explained to her three months ago that most managers don't give shifts to those who call in sick all the time - best to go to work sick so she can see you really are sick then she can send you home and won't hold it against you.  She listened!

3.  Buying used is the only way to go, especially when on a tiny budget.  Although she works in a clothing store she only buys very inexpensive items there (a requirement that they wear the product) and buys all of the rest of her clothes except underwear from thrift stores.

4. How to live within your means. Not an easy skill for most people.

She applied for and got her first credit card.  We have always told all the kids to pay it off every month, and she says she is.  I hope so, as we also explained how difficult it is to get out of debt or repair your credit if you abuse it.

So, although life is busy, life is good. Have a great long weekend everyone!




26 comments:

  1. Ah the trials and tribulations of youth... Looks like this lady is headed in the right direction... Well done!

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    1. I hope so although things could go sideways anytime but we feel alot better about things now that she is legally an adult.

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  2. Good to see she is learning skills and getting along on her own. I don't know how the farmers get carrots to pick already. Mine never are ready for pulling until late summer or early fall. Maybe it's the kind I plant. - Margy

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    1. Siefferts has big greenhouses, pretty sure this first round of carrots were grown in there. The also had ripened tomatoes, first of the season that were grown in the greenhouses.

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  3. Many people, young and old, never seem to "get" #4.
    She absorbed what y'all tried to impart and is doing fine it seems.

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    1. I hope so or at least she is good at pulling the wool over our eyes lol.

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  4. I haven't yet stop in at our local farmer market. But I try to keep my dollar at the local mom and pop stores.
    Coffee is on

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    1. This farmers market is owned by a large family that both work in the field/greenhouses and their store. The money definitely stays on the island.

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  5. She's pretty young yet, and seems to have learned and is acting on what she has learned. From your accounts, she my end up in a stronger future than had she not had to learn lessons through natural consequences.

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    1. Probably - we are hoping for that. No matter what happens to her now she is an adult and has to live with the consequences. Funny when you take away all the rules and have nothing to rebel against things seemed to normalize.

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  6. Eighteen sounds so young to be in a relationship, she should be living with girls her own age and having a blast.
    Like her I've never had a wish to drive, I love living less than a mile from the town centre and can walk and get anything I need - keeps me fit and its free. xxx

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    1. I agree - but at the time living with him was her only safe option. She definitely sees now that that is not a permanent relationship because they have completely different life goals. At least they get along well enough. Not sure if the relationship will last much longer after she moves out but they seem to want to still try.

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  7. Wow, what a transformation in your stepdaughter. That's amazing. I'm happy she has found the right path.

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    1. She still has her moments, but things definitely have improved, thank goodness!

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  8. It's so hard to let them learn on their own, vs wanting to do it for them. And, mine are still a lot younger but this is already something I'm struggling with. ;-) It sounds like there has been an amazing amount of growth on her side over the past year, and kudos to you for showing the way while letting discover it on her own

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    1. We didn't have much choice - she is the kid that the more you give rules the more she pushes back. If we wanted a relationship with her at all we had to let go. She still doesn't talk to her mom at all - two years now. I hope that changes soon.

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  9. I am so happy for her and for you. You had quite a worry for some time with her. You are an awesome mom!!!!! It's a long haul but so so worth it.

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    1. Oh we still worry about her, what kind of parents don't? We certainly weren't expecting this kind of improvement though - fingers and toes crossed she stays on this path.

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  10. Good job on both your garden and your now blooming step daughter.

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  11. Sticking to your guns is a difficult decision, but sounds like it has paid off for both you and her. This parenting thing can get a little difficult sometimes. I like being a grandparent much better.

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    1. I keep saying to her "I wonder what your kids will be like?" She just smiles. I hope they don't put her through what she put us through. I don't want to be a grandparent for many years but yes, I expect it will be much easier.

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  12. I have never liked driving. I'm too much of a daydreamer. Good for you for playing it right where your stepdaughter is concerned.

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    1. She has ADD and finds it very difficult to drive. We tried but she has major confusion at intersections. I tend to think she might be better off not driving at all as doesn't seem to have the proper judgement skills that are required. She was never one to play video games which oddly seems to work against her. The boys did and are all good drivers with great hand-eye coordination.

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  13. So much to be proud of. I wonder if it's too late for me to learn any of those skills. Yep. It is!

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    1. It's not too late for you Mitchell! :)

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