Sunday, January 19, 2014

How to Get a Packrat to Downsize aka We are having a Garage Sale!

I am usually one of those people who snaps up bargains at garage sales, but this Spring we will be having a massive sale ourselves.  First, let me state that I love my Mother and we are very good friends. The truth is, she is a pack rat.  Always has been, but now, hopefully we have broken that.  I am a minimalist, likely brought upon by her pack rat tendencies.  She has a really hard time letting go of things, particularly if they have any life in them, even if it is an item she has 8 of or something she hasn't used in 20 years.

Due to the pack-rattery there were times where she lost/misplaced/repurchased the same article.  We found no less than 9 hammers, 20 pairs of scissors, 8 screwdrivers...you get the picture.  No, she is not a tool hoarder but when my stepfather died 15 years ago she felt the need to continue to carry these tools from home to home.  She had boxes that hadn't been unpacked in 20 years, seriously.

How to get a pack rat to downsize?  Well, in this case she had to as she was moving to her new condo of which the living size was similar to her old home but there was no gigantic shed to hoard things in (there is a wee one that is now mostly empty not to be filled up again).  She no longer has to do yard work so all yard work tools except one pair of gloves and a rose bush trimmer have been gotten rid of.  We live two blocks away so she gave us all of her tools except one hammer, one screwdriver and a jar of screws/nails.  If she needs anything we will go over and fix it.  Hubby has gone through the tools and what he doesn't need/want will be sold at the garage sale.  There are at least 12 large full Rubbermaid containers that I am going to tuck under our house in the crawlspace waiting for the sale.

She hasn't sewn in 20 years yet she refuses to let go of her sewing machine or much fabric.  She did let go of her serger which I managed to sell to a co-worker and we got all of her fabric down to one Rubbermaid container.

If I sound a bit iron-fisted in all of this, the answer was that in order to achieve the downsize and move, she had to be pushed to go through every single thing she owned and decide if she wanted to keep it or let it go.  Some items she insisted on hanging onto originally have now gone into the sell pile upon unpacking.

The secrets to downsizing a pack rat:

1.  If they say they want to let something go immediately haul it off to the dump/goodwill/your house for the garage sale.  If it stays in their living space they will change their mind.

2.  Do it slowly over time.  In some ways if we hadn't started downsizing in Spring to when her home finally sold in December we would have hauled 3 times as much stuff to her new place.

3.  Don't force them to get rid of anything.  I would hold up items and she would say keep/give away/sell.  Don't assume things are unsellible, if you do they likely won't get rid of it.  If it doesn't sell at the garage sale I will then haul it to goodwill/freecycle it.

I also noticed that although it is great to keep things around that are still usable, new technology has made things much smaller:  She has an old 80 lb computer monitor and 500 GB hard drive which is slow as the 7 year itch.  She has a gigantic tube tv which is 11 years old, her last tube tv bit the dust when her moving truck rolled the last time she moved (true story - Allied Van Lines rolled because the driver fell asleep). We have decided to give her our 3rd laptop which is currently in the shop getting a new fan.  We had used this as a backup to our 2 company computers but if required she can lend it back.  I fully expect her to be hanging out more on the internet as the laptop is much easier to use/faster.  She will also have more space in her office.  Funny story,  I dropped the computer monitor in the move when unpacking.  Darned if it didn't hurt it one bit lol.  It hit the floor pretty hard too. Built like a tank.  She also has a full rubbermaid container of pictures.  New digital technology in the world of photos have made things like photo albums a thing of the past.  Maybe we will scan them one day, but that sounds like a ton of work so for now, she gets to keep that container.

My mother managed to get rid of at least 40% of her belongings.  We finished the unpacking on Wednesday within 30 days of the move, which I think is an accomplishment and I hauled off all the rest of the flattened boxes and packing material.  She now sees she still has too much of certain things and actually asked me to leave 2 boxes behind for her to continue the process.  So, if you are a pack rat or are related to one there is hope - it is just a very slow process!

19 comments:

  1. I'm married to a packrat. We moved twice as much as we need from Calgary to PR. As we unpack after managing without most of it for a year he recognises how foolish some of his decisions were. Let us know the date of the garage sale. It sounds too good to miss.

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    1. Hubby likes hanging on to things too, although he isn't a packrat and lets go of things way easier than Mom does.

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  2. I picked simplify and declutter as my theme for 2014 and have begun, and your post has me cheering for you and for your mom. I think she will feel more light without all those unneeded things.

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    1. I hope so, she seems to not miss any of the items she parted with so far. If only she would let go of a little more!

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  3. I think we all know of or live with a pack rat. Good for you on being so gentle with your Mom, no sense in pushing the buttons. I'm with Susan you must tell us when your having your sale. I'll be there!!!

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    1. I wasn't quite as gentle as it seems, especially in the beginning but after several months of this we got into a groove where she understood this is only so that she can have a nice place to live where she doesn't have to deal with all the "stuff" on a daily basis

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  4. I am not a packrack, but my mother was. Guess I got the anti from her. My Dad leans toward it as well though.

    About the pictures - we are doing this soon, so I will let you know. There is an online business - www.fotobridge.com that will digitize your photos for you and put them in a CD or send them to shutterfly (or other on-line photo book). I just recently went through ALL our photos and am gathering the final ones to send off.

    Downsizing is never easy - no matter if you are a packrack or not. So many things have to be let go.

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    1. Even the part about going through the pictures to determine what is keepable and what is not will take forever. We did it for 1/2 and hour and gave up. It all just went into the container.

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  5. This was our day today. We're building our new house this year, so the next few months are downsizing the stuff and donating as much as we can. The new house will be bigger but we truly don't want to pack it up just to have to unpack it again, except for the precious things we do cherish.

    Good luck with your garage sale!

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    1. Moving is such a big motivator for the big declutter. So nice to go to your new home with only your treasured items and not those that you have been hauling around for no good reason.

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  6. I been cleaning out the shed/barn and I to will be holding a yard sale middle to end of March...Doing home care and I've seen every scale of pack rat and hoarder...I do not and I repeat do not have any desire to be come one...A pack rat that is....Coffee is on

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    1. I am sure you have seen a lot. People who find it hard to be mobile or take care of themselves often fall victim to hoarding tendencies

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  7. A lot of what we have in storage is photos, photo albums and videos from when our daughter was little. The thought of scanning them all is just too overwhelming. We really should transfer the videos to DVD before they disintegrate. Maybe I should do that before summer comes.

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    1. It is overwhelming, I agree. We have our on photo boxes lurking in the basement too.

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  8. Wow. I'm not a packrat by any means but your post makes me even more determined than ever to downsize. Today I took a bunch more stuff to the local thrift store and tossed out a lot more junk. Where the heck does it all come from?? I'm taking as little as possible to PEI. You've done an amazing job for and with your mom. And how great is it that she wants to continue the process. You handled it so well!

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    1. Especially when moving Province to Province it is so important to only take the critical things. It costs so much to move long distance!

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  9. My hubs is a terrible pack-rat. He will store/stuff/put up any little thing. It makes me crazy as I am a minimalist too. What would happen if two pack-rats married, oh yeah you would get hoarders.
    I love to get rid of everything. I finally talked Den into going through his clothes and he said I should do mine too. I looked at him and said, whelp I'm done. I don't keep crap.

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    1. When I moved in with hubby ten years ago he finally had to clean out his dresser so he could make room for me and we got rid of some things that should have been long gone, like workout pants from 1982 with elastic at the bottom. REALLY? You want to keep those? He listened lol.

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  10. When we tried to sell some of Mom's things after she passed away, we weren't allowed to have a sale of any kind that would bring buyers that would park in the condo lot. I ended up using Craigslist, but what would have taken a day or two stretched out for months. Then we ended up giving lots away free to get clean out the condo for rental. Glad you can do the garage sale on your own terms. - Margy

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