My mother is not a hoarder but someone who through good intentions ends up with endless clutter clogging her space. She saves things for friends she rarely sees, and keeps buying containers to get better organized but those containers are only adding to the clutter. I fully believe in recycling but having nineteen separate spots for recycling is not the way to do it. What comes into her house tends to stay there.
After three days of painting, cleaning carpets and purging the work has only just begun. In order to prep it for sale we "hid" lots of things to be dealt with later. Anything that she was interested in giving away I hauled away as she will not deal with it and it will only remain in the house for us to deal with later. I brought a few things back that she wants to sell, with the understanding that if I can't sell it within 30 days it I am giving them away.
Stressful for both of us but necessary as she has begun to have some health issues and we need to get her moved to within a short distance of where we live so I can help her more. She gets possession of her new condo mid May so I plan on going once per week for a purging/packing session. I keep trying to remind her this move is likely her last regular home as it was purchased with the intent she lives there until eventually in 15-20 years she goes into a senior facility.
Hubby and I are headed back on Sunday, just for the day, so hubby can help me perk up the exterior with power washing, some landscaping and possibly some painting depending on weather.
Have you had to downsize a parent? Probably one of the toughest things to have to deal with outside of parental health issues.
Ah yes, containers. They serve merely as an illusion of organization and they really do add to clutter. The only way to organize clutter is to purge it and that can be tough for older folks to deal with. Good thing she has you to help. Sounds like a lot of work, but hopefully it will pay off with a quick sale.
ReplyDeleteI gave up trying to have her purge by herself and just told her to leave it until I come as it only adds to the clutter if she starts and stops has several piles going.
DeleteAnd, ah, yes, the "downsizing Mom" scenario. DH and I had to go through this with both of our mothers within a six-month period 5 years ago, and we've still got the scars. It's amazing what emotions this can bring out in both generations, as well as within the younger generation. At least it doesn't sound as if you're dealing with any sibling issues--and it does sound as if you're employing the necessary mix of affection and "tough love." Good luck as the process continues.
ReplyDeleteI do have a sibling but she lives in another province and rarely visits so it is up to me to get this done. The bonus at the end of the rainbow is a lovely condo to move into so she is at least motivated.
DeleteWe were fortunate, both our sets of parents downsized themselves. But I keep reminding my husband that we really need to get the attic cleaned out, so that our kids don't someday have to deal with that mess. That just may become one of my summer projects.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the rest of it. I can imagine that it is a huge job.
I am committed to purging/selling our extra stuff every year or so it doesn't build up. Once we get her moved I will do the same with her so she doesn't get overwhelmed.
DeleteOh I am dealing with that now. My Mom is 82 and still lives in a big home. I am hoping she will move into a Sr Home in the next year or so. I live in Ga and she lives in Tx so it's even harder for me. She is finally letting me 'get rid' of things. My next trip I'm going to work on her clothes closet. Good Luck. It's not easy.
ReplyDeleteLinda
It was much tougher when I was a Province away, now I am only two hours away. Her next place I will live a five minute walk so will be way easier from here on out. Good idea to break up each trip with one area of the house.
DeleteMy mother was moved from a house to an apartment and from there to a senior living facility. Even with just one room there, when it came time to move her to a nursing home, I had a ton to deal with. This is never easy and you run the risk of filling up your own home in the process! Resist that as much as you can....
ReplyDeleteI did end up bringing a couple things home but useful items like extra potting soil and a garden tool. We have enough of our own stuff so am really unlikely to bring more back.
DeleteIt is tough to do. Good you are fairly close to her.
ReplyDeleteI will be so happy when it is done - then maybe we can all relax a bit.
DeleteSounds like you have a pretty good handle on all that needs to get done. It will be so nice having her closer to you! Best wishes.
ReplyDeleteThanks - so much work left to go though - and my own home is feeling neglected now after cleaning out the Alberta home and now my Mom's house. I guess our own dirt will have to wait!
DeleteI am in the process of cleaning my Mom's place in the States right now. We are also cleaning our place downstairs at the same time, and trying to merge the two. Lots of things will be donated and/or discarded so that the clutter in both places can be reduced. Both condos have limited storage space and way too much furniture. We need a few things at home in Powell River so maybe we'll bring the truck down next trip and pack it up for a trip north. Better to reuse and buy new for sure. I hope all goes well with your Mom's move. Mine moved to be closer to us six years ago and it make things a lot easier for me. - Margy
ReplyDeleteThanks Margy. After our own downsize and now hers you realize you certainly don't need all the stuff. I think she is starting to see that too (at least I hope she is :))
DeleteMum's downsized twice since Dad died 18 years ago. The first time was the toughest because she was leaving the home that they'd shared since he left the army and they settled somewhere instead of always being on the move. It was a place they absolutely loved, and had ties for me too as it was the place I'd spent the longest as a child. I don't think she has ever really let go of the place emotionally.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom became a widow about fifteen years ago and did a bit of a downsize too then but has since accumulated lots more. She did it that time by herself but just doesn't have the energy to do it on her own this time.
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